How to respond to hey on a dating app (with examples)

To respond to “hey” on a dating app, don’t send “hey” back. Say hi, then add one specific thing from their profile and a question or a choice they can answer in a line: “Hey! Okay, I need the story behind the goat in your third photo.” You’re writing the opener they didn’t, and that’s fine. A “hey” means they matched with you and wrote first. It’s a door held open, not an insult.

On iPhone, Zirp, an AI dating chat coach for iPhone, iPad and Mac, has a card for exactly this moment. She said hey gives you three witty answers through AI Chat, and your first 10 AI replies are free with no account. Below: why people send it, eight ways to reply with examples, the variations, and what changes on Hinge, Tinder and Bumble.

In this guide10 sections

Why matches just say “hey”

It’s tempting to read a bare “hey” as zero effort. Sometimes it is. More often it’s one of these:

• Nerves. A clever first line is hard to write to someone you’re attracted to. “Hey” is what people send when they want to talk and can’t think how to start.
• A handoff. Some people open with a greeting on purpose and let the other person set the tone. It’s polite, if not inspired.
• The clock. On Bumble, each person gets one opening message within 72 hours of matching. A quick “hey” keeps the match alive while they figure out the rest.
• Volume. Someone working through a dozen new matches may start every chat the same way. A good reply is how you stand out from the other eleven.

Whatever the reason, they matched with you and spoke first. That’s interest, just not much information. Your job is to supply the information.

What a good reply to “hey” does

A reply to “hey” is really an opener with a greeting attached. It has three jobs:

1. Greet, briefly. “Hey!” or “Hi!” is enough.
2. Bring something specific. One thing from their photos, prompts or bio, or one thing about you if their profile is nearly empty. Specific is what turns a greeting into a conversation.
3. Leave an easy hook. A question they can answer in a line, a this-or-that, or a guess they can correct. One hook, not three questions stacked.

Here’s how the common replies tend to play out:

Keep it short. They sent one word, so two lines is plenty.

How to respond to hey on a dating app: eight ways, with examples

These are shapes, not scripts: the best reply uses something from this person’s profile.

1. Hey back, plus one thing from their profile

The default, and it works most of the time. Greet them, then point at the most interesting thing you can see.

Them: hey

You: Hey! Settle something for me: is the trail in your second photo as steep as it looks, or were you posing for drama?

Pick the detail with a story behind it: a place, a pet, an odd object in the background. “Nice smile” is a compliment. “What were you laughing at in the last photo?” is a conversation.

2. Offer a this-or-that

A choice is the easiest message in the world to answer, which is the point when they’ve opened with the easiest message in the world to send.

Them: hey

You: Hi! Quick vibe check before we go any further: beach weekend or cabin weekend?

Whatever they pick, you have a follow-up: say which one you’d choose, and why.

3. Make a guess about them

People enjoy correcting a wrong guess more than answering a direct question. A guess also shows you looked at their profile.

Them: hey :)

You: Hey! Going by your photos, I’m guessing you’re the friend who plans every group trip. Am I close?

Keep the guess flattering or neutral. Nothing about looks or money.

4. Use what they liked

On Hinge, a like is attached to one of your photos or prompts, even when the comment is just “hey” or there’s no comment at all. They’ve told you what caught their eye. That’s your opener, handed to you.

Them: (liked your sourdough photo) hey

You: Hey! I see the bread got your attention. Fellow baker, or purely here for the carbs?

5. Call out the “hey”, lightly

Only when the moment has room for play, and only ever as a joke on the format, never a dig at them.

Them: hey

You: Hey yourself. Bold, minimalist opener. I respect it. I’ll take the next move: what’s the best thing you ate this week?

The second half matters: you poke fun at the format, then do the work with a real question. Without it, the joke reads as “you could have tried harder,” which is a scold in a party hat.

6. Ask a question that’s fun to answer

Not “how’s your week?” Something with a story or an opinion in it.

Them: hey

You: Hi! Important first question: what’s the most overrated food? I have a controversial answer ready.

“I have an answer ready” promises a back-and-forth, not an interview, and gives them a reason to ask you something back.

7. Lead with something about you

When their profile gives you almost nothing to work with, give them something instead.

Them: hey

You: Hey! Fair warning, I just got back from my first pottery class and I’m now insufferable about mugs. How’s your Sunday going?

That one message hands them three things to grab: pottery, the self-aware joke, and their own Sunday.

8. Match their energy, and keep it short

Some people just text short. A two-line reply with a hook can still be casual.

Them: heyy

You: heyy :) ok I have to ask about the karaoke photo. What was the song?

”Heyy”, “hey beautiful” and other versions

• “heyy” or “heyyy”. The extra letters usually read warmer and a little flirty. A casual reply, maybe with a smiley, lands better than a formal one.
• “hey beautiful” or “hey handsome”. A compliment, if a generic one. Thank them lightly and steer somewhere real: “Ha, thank you. Your turn: tell me one thing about you that isn’t in your profile.” If it feels sent to fifty people, you can answer with the same energy, or not at all.
• “hey, how are you?” or “hey, what’s up?” Answer it for real, then hand them something: “Good! Just survived my first spin class in a year and my legs are filing a complaint. How’s your week going?” “Good, you?” is the shortest road back to silence.
• “hey stranger”. Usually someone reopening a chat that went quiet. Treat it as a fresh start, not a debrief. The stalled chat guide covers restarts from either side.
• “hey” with a wink or a smiley. The emoji is the tone. A smiley is friendly; a wink invites something flirtier.

What not to send

• “hey” back. Two people now waiting for the other to start.
• “Hi, how are you?” Polite, and it starts the interview loop: good, you? Good. What do you do?
• The scold. “Wow, such effort.” Maybe they earned a nudge. You still look worse for sending it.
• The essay. Four paragraphs in reply to one word reads as pressure, not enthusiasm.
• A canned pickup line that ignores their profile. Same problem as “hey”; it just took longer to type.
• Nothing, if you’re interested. Leaving a “hey” on read means losing a match over who has to try first.

On Hinge, Tinder and Bumble

• Hinge. A like anchors to a photo or prompt, and the comment is optional, so a “hey” on Hinge usually comes with context. Check which photo or prompt their like is attached to before you reply. Your reply is effectively a first message, so what to say on a Hinge first message applies.
• Tinder. No prompts, and often a bio two lines long, so “hey” is a common way in. Photos carry the context: ask about the most specific one, or make a guess. Chats tend to move fast, so keep it quick. How to start a Tinder conversation has openers that work as replies too.
• Bumble. Since August 2026 anyone can message first, and each person gets one opening message within 72 hours of matching. If their one opener was “hey”, you have 72 hours from then to reply, per Bumble’s help center; don’t use most of them. The Bumble first message guide covers the rest.

Should you reply to “hey” at all?

If you’re interested, yes. A “hey” isn’t a red flag on its own; plenty of good matches are terrible at openers. What tells you more is their next message. If you’ve given them two easy hooks and the answers are still one word with nothing back, they may be busy, shy, or not that into the chat. How to tell if someone is losing interest over text helps you work out which.

You don’t owe anyone a fourth attempt. And if you’re not interested, not replying or unmatching is a complete answer.

How Zirp’s She said hey card helps

The hard part of “hey” isn’t knowing you should be specific. It’s coming up with the first real line, the exact thing they couldn’t do either. These are the Zirp tools for that moment:

• She said hey: a card in AI Chat that gives you three witty answers to a bare “hey”. Tap Copy and send the one you like. It’s a chat, so you can follow up: ask for something funnier or shorter, or mention the detail from their profile you’d like the reply to use.
• Opener About Her: name one thing from their profile and get openers about it. A reply to “hey” is an opener with a greeting on top, so use this when you’ve spotted the detail but can’t find the line. It runs on the device and it’s free.
• Her Vibe: how they text, so your reply matches their length and energy instead of answering “heyy” with a cover letter.
• Check It: a quick “send it” or “soften it” before you hit send, for the playful call-out where cheeky and snippy are close. On Mac it’s called Check Draft.
• Make It Sound Like Me: show Zirp how you text by saving your side of a chat as examples, and replies come back sounding like you rather than like a generator.
• 620 ready-made lines and 17 guided Flows: for when you’d rather pick than generate. They work offline on any iPhone on iOS 18 or later, and they’re free.

The card names are written she-first, as the App Store listing writes them. What they read is the chat you give them, whoever you’re talking to.

The hardware line, stated plainly: reading a screenshot, Opener About Her, Her Vibe, Check It, Make It Sound Like Me and the tone rewrites run on the device and need iOS 26 with Apple Intelligence, which means an iPhone 15 Pro or later (on iPad, an M1 or later or the iPad mini with A17 Pro; on Mac, an Apple silicon Mac on macOS 26). On other iPhones you paste the message text into AI Chat instead of sharing a screenshot. The She said hey card and the ready-made lines don’t need Apple Intelligence.

She said hey, like the rest of AI Chat, uses the internet, on every device. After you agree on a consent screen, your message and that chat’s history go to Zirp’s server and then to OpenAI, which writes the reply. A screenshot never leaves your device; only its text is sent. Per the App Store listing, Zirp’s server stores none of it, and OpenAI doesn’t train on it and keeps it for up to 30 days, only to check for abuse.

Pricing, from the listing: Zirp is a free download, and your first 10 AI replies are free with no account and no sign-up. After that, Unlimited Access is $9.99/month for unlimited AI replies, with a 3-day free trial for new subscribers. One subscription covers iPhone, iPad and Mac, and Opener About Her, the ready-made lines and the other tools that run on the device stay free.

The bottom line

How to respond to hey on a dating app: don’t mirror it. Greet them, bring one specific thing from their profile (or about you, if theirs is empty), and end on a hook they can answer in a line. Keep it short, keep it light, and skip the scold. A “hey” is someone holding the door open. Walk through it with something worth answering.

If a “hey” is sitting in your inbox and nothing is coming to mind, get Zirp on the App Store. The She said hey card gives you three answers to pick from, and your first 10 AI replies are free.

FAQ

What should I reply when a match just says hey?

Say hi back, then add one specific thing from their profile and a question they can answer easily, like “Hey! Okay, I need the story behind the goat in your third photo.” Keep it to a line or two. Replying with just “hey” or “how are you?” leaves you both waiting for the other person to start.

Is it a bad sign if someone opens with just hey?

Not on its own. People send “hey” out of nerves, out of habit, or to keep a match from expiring, and plenty of good matches are bad at openers. Their answer to your next message tells you more. If you’ve given them two easy hooks and still get one word back, it’s fine to let it go.

How do you respond to hey on Tinder?

Use their photos, since Tinder profiles are often light on text. Say hi, pick the most specific photo, and ask about it or make a guess: “Hey! Is that you on the summit in photo two, or a very convincing cardboard cutout?” Keep it short, because Tinder chats tend to move fast.